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Sep. 3rd, 2012 | 09:48 pm

when two hearts race
both win, they say
but it looks like i'm out of your league
since you tossed all my chances
right out of the park
when you left me alone
waiting on the concrete

standing on the precipice, 
bitter beads of sweat fall-
you see, i fell for you
as fast as you're running
towards a different finish line
where the odds are stacked
impossibly high
against all of mine

the ball's in your court
but the buzzer's been beaten
the bleachers stand to witness
this losing streak
because when what's at stake
is someone's heart
the best play is to cut the losses
and just admit defeat

the way you cheered my name
and grabbed my hand
without meaning
deserves a round of applause
well i'm trudging through
this walk of shame
with my ego on a stretcher
and my heart wrapped up in gauze

as the scoreboards shuffle, our little scuffle
slows down and shifts to first gear
does it make you proud
that the word around town
is that you're the best player of the year?

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Aug. 16th, 2012 | 10:04 pm

pour me a cup of the universe
as you drink in every word unuttered
fumbling with your keys
and twisting your tongue in knots
that I'd rather know not of
please say something.
anything.

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I'm a crappy writer 98% of the time (including now)

Jul. 18th, 2012 | 12:28 am

sometimes the words don't come out right
when they're minced with raw emotion
i'm not the kind of person
who is used to being part of this equation
so when you hold your gaze,
and whenever a smile envelopes your face
i catch my breath and wonder --
could you be the kind of boy
who could like a girl like me?

the first time somebody stole away
a piece of my adolescent heart
i locked it up and built defenses
for the next time someone put up false pretenses
but you have to understand
that although i'm a bit rough around the edges
when i fall, i dive in headfirst,
no second guesses.

so the next time you try and win me over
with your boyish, awkward charm
or every time you let your hand linger a little longer
when you brush your fingers upon my arm
you should know
not only are you making me feel
all these warm and fuzzy sensations
but you are also unknowingly, inevitably,
building up hopes
and expectations.

this little heart of mine is fragile
and a little bit more than afraid
but you should also know
that it's got a lot of room
for the kind of boy who'd stay.

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Aug. 26th, 2011 | 01:22 am

Note to self: Pull BACK, Tonichi.

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whoever said people never changed?

Feb. 3rd, 2010 | 10:26 pm

God, i miss LiveJournal.
I was reading through all my entries, and i mean ALL, haha! I prolly went through a hundred plus blog entries. It's so weird but i thin differently now. I don't know, i guess people really do grow up? some of what i wrote back then, now seem so shallow and superficial and just so highschool. Okay don't get me wrong, highschool was like the best 4 years of my life, and it was a whirlwind of tears, adventures, firsts, (non)romance, and friends. But then my world back then revolved around school, homework, boys, parties and family. That was the world i knew, and the world i thought i was living in. Okay well highschool was really just a year ago, but so much has changed in the past year.

College really opened me to so many more ideas about people, and the world in general.
1. Just because someone doesn't speak English well doesn't make him or her any less of a person. If anything, a lot of the blockmates and classmates i've had whose first language isn't English, are more real and more lifelong than majority of my fluent friends and acquaintances. I've leaned not to judge based on appearances, and i also learned who my true friends were.
2. There's so much more to life than missing a party, or hearing all the latest gossip on this person and that person, or who's dating who now, and all. So i still love hearing people's kuwentos and very exciting stories of their very exciting love lives, but it's not everything in the world. 
3. Home is where the heart is. Well, mine, at least. Sometimes, i like staying in more than going out. Over the past few months, i've become closer to my family than i've ever been before, and i find myself wanting to stay at home rather than going out. I still do love going out with friends and parties, but i'm not DYING to get out of the house. In school, when i have 3 hour breaks, i don't make tambay or whatever. I go home, and just go back to school for my next class.
4. It's not about the school/university you're in, but what you make of it. It doesn't matter if you go to Ateneo, La Salle, FEU or Centro Escolar or AC, but what matters is what you make of the whole college experience. Of course the school matters, but in the end, the brass tax isn't in the name. Having transferred from DLSU to AC, i can speak from experience that in curriculum, there aren't that many differences with the courses. (well, in Advertising, anyway) Someone could be going to a top university, but he or she could skip every single class... as opposed to someone who goes to a not so known college, but strives and motivates himself/herself in school. I wonder who'll get hired. Haha! I'm not undermining DLSU or ADMU or the other "Ivy Leagues," their curriculums are great. It's just that people underestimate the smaller colleges. It really all depends on the person, not the college.
5. Boys come and go, but family and (true)friends are forever. I'm really happy (and envious of, haha!) for those people who can say that they're happy and content with their relationship with their boy/girl/MU/whatchamacallit. Personally, i have remained friends with some boys i was close to in high school, but i have also fallen out with some. On a more "romantic" note, those boys i was super crushing on and spent hours chatting/texting/seeing, are now history. HAHA! I guess we grew up. (or rather, I grew up) And the people who are still the driving forces in my life are my family and friends. Gotta love 'em.
6. Time is really REALLY fast. One of my friends' status in Facebook was like, "Guys, it's been 2 years since prom!" I can't believe it's already been two years. It HAS been a while, but two years went by in a flash. Two years from now, my sister will be in her senior year. I'll be in my 3rd year of college, and my other sister will be in aviation school. Two years from now, i might not be friends anymore with the people i'm friends with today.
7. You can't trust everyone. My mom usually tells me i'm too unassuming and kind of gullible and trusting with people, to the point that i get taken for granted or deceived, etc. Last 2009, i was the victim of again my super trusting nature, which resulted in my transferring schools. the world isn't all good, as they used to teach in religion class. Sorry nalang, but that's the truth. In theory, it's all nice and happy and just so peachy to be idealistic, but in reality, life bites. Okay just kidding. But life isn't fair, and not everyone is good. It's better to be a realist, because then you don't get disappointed. But it's better to be hopeful than to be apathetic, because then, things will change.

Okay so there's so much more that i learned but i gotta get started on homework. It's 10:25 already and i haven't done a single thing.

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Two in a Row

Feb. 3rd, 2010 | 09:52 pm

sweet poison
it holds me under ransom
between the sheets of Fate and Time
little Boy, when can i call you mine?

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i don't care

Feb. 3rd, 2010 | 09:49 pm

raindrops, glittering window panes
a twilight daydream
of everything and nothing
we'll ever be
my strong resolve
hurricanes and takes flight
the second you look into my eyes
tick tock, tick tock
with any luck
you'd whisper me a sad goodbye.
i don't care.
i don't care.
i don't care.

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Dec. 16th, 2009 | 07:38 pm

When it comes to love and matters of the heart
better come prepared with a bulletproof vest
Because one of these days, someone might just come
and try to pump that warm fuzzy feeling back into your chest
And Cupid's arrow knows no mercy for strangers
and fools like me, you see
The kind that dreams in the day and at night
Of every little maybe, every single possibility
Well i used to be the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve
And would give it up all in the name of love
But reality came and pulled the trigger,
And i told myself i'd had just about enough

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How (Some) Ex's say their feelings.

Oct. 8th, 2009 | 08:34 pm

Girl: Your new girlfriend is pretty. (I bet she stole your heart)
Boy: yeah, she is. (But you’re still the most beautiful girl I know)
Girl: I heard she’s funny & amazing. (All the stuff I wasn’t)
Boy: She sure is. (But she’s nothing compared to you)
Girl: I bet you know everything about her by now (Like how you knew just about everything about me)
Boy: Only the stuff that count (I can’t even remember the stuff she tells me when I think of you)
Girl: Well, I hope you guys last. (Because we never did)
Boy: I hope we do too. (Whatever happened to me & you?)
Girl: Well I got to go. (Before I start to cry)
Boy: Yeah me too. (I hope you don’t cry)
Girl: Bye. (I still love you)
Boy: Later. (I never stopped)

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I HATE IT...

Sep. 8th, 2009 | 08:54 pm

...When people say i don't understand, because i do.
...When people think they're the only ones who hurt, because i hurt too.

Some people need to stop feeling like the whole world revolves around them, that nobody understands.  And YOU, my "friend," really need to start giving your friends (example: me) a little more credit.

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